Hash Trash #28

At our 28^th Hash, this past New Year’s day-after, our very own Me-Lips & Multiple Entries co-hosted our belligerent group.   Indecently Long and Pennies Pincher set the shitty trail, where not a scoop of poop was found (the stench was still present however).

Our trail predictably led us through a few villages who don’t even shout “Fote” anymore, because they’re so sick of seeing us.  Apparently this is a popular trail for our Indecently Long.  Pennies Pincher stayed with the walkers (there were plenty of us).  I have no idea what happens with the running group – they never give me any good juice for the Hash Trash so I just assume they’re all working far too hard and have no fun en route.

Hash #28 – New Year Hash

When: Saturday, January 9
Time: 15:00
Hares: Indecently Long and unknown accomplice
Host: Me Lips and his Compound Compatriots

Meeting place: German Compound in Kipe (Home of Lips, Multiple Entry, and Indecently Long).

For those who don’t know where German is…

Hash Trash #27

What happened to the last few trashes? Well your absolutely (un)dedicated On Sec has been off the hash circuit for a while and didn’t get any good trash from participants.  But I think if ever there was a hash to pop my haven’t-hashed-in-two-months-cherry….this was the one!

How should I organize this trash? I’ve done chronological.  And reverse chronological (kind of like reverse cow-girl but requiring more planning).  But today I think I’ll write the trash from the perspective of LeRoy Bleakmore, beloved son of Hi Ho and Hairy Tea Bag.  LeRoy wasn’t there but if he had been…I think his account would have gone a little something like this:

Hash #23 Hash-o-ween or Hashy Halloween!

Hash #23
When: Saturday, October 31

Time: 15:00

Hares: Sir Rio Pinkhole (Real Stinkhole?), No Name Barton (4 Legs on stand by)
Host: Pennies Pincher
Meeting place: Kipe Compound (off T2, map to follow). You may recall this compound as the Lair du Baby Maker.

First – Wear a costume or pay the price! Second – Don’t forget that some of you animals have Hash jobs! Beer and Ice being the most critical. If you can’t do your job, your new job is to get someone to do your old job, which is new. Make this Hash-o-Ween a spooktacle to behold!

Should Baby Barton accomplish his hare mission, he will be christened in to the revered kennel of the Conakry Hash. He’s a Marine. He’s short. He’s a different kind of handsome. There’s more that’s not fit to print, so be ready to name this child of charity – this prince of promise.

You should all know that a swimming hole exists at the On In. So… a change of clothes and a speedo should get the job done.

On On!
HTB

Hash #22 Trash

Alright folks, it was a pretty good 22nd hash, but it could always be better. Actually, now that I think about it (and the fog of the afternoon starts to lift), it was a pretty momentous hash! Erection of the mismanagement committee and two namings of former virgins! So, as logic would see fit, we’ll start with last things first and round up Hash Trash #22 with first things last.
Lastly, we had namings! And what namings they were. We’ll start with the newly baptized, formerly known as No Name Amelia (Ahm-ah-lee-uh as HTB did well to pronounce), now known most informally as:

HASH #22 DOUBLE DEUCE

I’d like to say better late than pregnant but the scare that there almost wouldn’t be a hash until late yesterday was too much for me to handle…map to M9, not too far from the French Embassy if I recall.  Let it be known, I was NOT the map creator! I don’t do art, I do Google Maps.

When: Saturday, October 17; Time: 15:00
Hares: Indecently Long, No Name Karen and, Amelia
Host: No Name Justine
Meeting place: M9, the Miniere playhouse and site of the After Hash (for respectable Hashers only). You can see a map to this maison below.

Your hobbled Tea Bag has waited until the last minute to make this formal – Its’ on, it’s at Justine’s. What else do you need to know? Indecently Long has promised “… just the tip”, a manageable trail. We WILL cast ballots for a true MisManagement committee, I swear we will. Said committee will decide on either immediate naming of of our newest inductees, or a deferral to a date and Hash TBD? Beer stop? Demand it!

Note: A change of clothes if you’re staying for Justine’s soiree. Don’t embarrass us. She has fancy friends.
On On!
HTB

Hash Trash #21

Whew…where does one start? So what was anticipated to be Execu-Hash actually had a proper showing to just be a regular gathering the Conakry Hashers! CH3 turned 1 and 21 at the same time (don’t ask about my math…its common core or something) this week, and we celebrated with beer, spaghetti and pool time.  I thought maybe it was time to publicize who actually showed at the hash.  So here is our participant list:

The Regulars

• Hairy Tea Bag (host)
• Hi Ho (hostess)
• Baby Maker
• Staff Commander
• Major Major Major Banana (hare)
• Hashley Titz (hare)
• No Name Aisha
• No Name Karen
• No Name Amelia

The Newcomers & Visitors

• Me-lips
• Sparkle

The Conakry Hash turns 21!

“The 1-year Anniversary Wilson Memorial Democracy Hash”Hash #21

When: Saturday, October 3; Time: 15:00 

Hares: Major Major Major Banana and Hashley Titz

Host: Hi Ho and Hairy Tea Bag

Meeting place: R4 in Ratoma, next to the Mariador Hotel

On a cold crisp October day exactly approximately one year ago, Dixxin Mark and his wife Meelf, set out to find a wandering band of idiots interested in drinking beer and adventure. That was easy and the Conakry Hash was born! We did a “pilot” hash, or was it hash #1? And so it was.

Dixxin Mark was the Godfather of Guinean democracy and it is only fitting that on the eve of Guinea’s presidential contest, the Conakry Hash holds its own Mismanagement erections in his honor! We will vote to name this committee immediately following the On In (see below for position descriptions)! Nominate, participate, democratate. If you can’t hash, have your voice heard on facebook or the web site! We’re (not) listening.

No Name Erin has also volunteered to be sacrificed to the Mismanagement Committee by even remotely mentioning it! 

Note: Swimming costume, dry clothes, shoes, etc… all a good idea.

On On!

Getting Serious – A MisManagement Committee

Hi Ho is clearly tired of being the cat herder of the group so she will be looking to get some participation by the hashing masses to get a proper, respectable MisManagement Committee in order.  Take a look at the titles below about the many positions one may have on the MisManagement Committee of CH3. Start thinking about who should be in those roles, and Hi Ho will surely throw some more guidance at us all later about how we will sacrifice a few virgins to get a sign from the gods about which hashers will fill which roles!

1. BEERMEISTER: This is unquestionably the most important position in the hash. The Beermeister has the weighty responsibility of making sure that the lifeblood of hashing is available at each and every hash event. S/he keeps constant vigilance to find the cheapest spirituous fermenti available, always has coolers in the trunk of his car and cases of beer in his garage. This person gets reimbursed from the Hash Cash.
2. HASH CASH: The holder of the purse-strings. Someone needs to dash about the start of each hash begging for money. Someone has to keep track of what comes in and what goes out (commonly referred to as “the old in and out.”). The Hash Cash collects the fees and provides reimbursement for the Beermeister and Haberdasher.
3. HARE RAISER: The Hare Raiser makes sure that there are hares and hosts for each hash. The Hare Raiser keeps track of upcoming hashes and gets ‘volunteers’ to hare based on experience, matching new hares with a more experienced one. The Hare Raiser IS the hare if (s)he can’t find anyone else to do it.
3. HABERDASHER: This is a person who has a flair for fashion and a head for business (who said head?). (S)he’s responsible for the design, procurement, merchandising, and vending of items of apparel and various trinkets to the hash. Prior flea market or circus midway experience preferred. The haberdasher is responsible for keeping an inventory of the haberdashery and selling as much as possible at the highest prices to the biggest suckers.
4. HASH FLASH: The person who captures for posterity all embarrassing hash moments on film. The hash flash must have an acute sense of the absurd to know what to take photos of, and also a small degree of reliability to bring a camera to post the photos for all to enjoy.
5. ON-SEC: This position is the masochist’s dream. This hasher struggles with the influx of often competing information from hares, Hare Raiser, GM, RA, and other members of the kennel, misinterprets that information and posts it all on the web for all to find and rely upon. At least directs hashers in the direction of the Facebook and web pages and keeps them as up-to-date as possible.

#20 Hash Trash

Yo yo yo – so this is Hash #20 Hash Trash.  It will be a pretty simple trash, mainly because your esteemed author wasn’t even present so I’ll work in a bunch of fiction with the few facts I heard about the events last Saturday. First and foremost, this was Dick Jism’s final CH3 event.  He leaves us shortly for another far away place.  So we bid him farewell and raise our glasses while he leaves us in peace.

First and foremost ( or did I already say that?!) it sounds like there was a spectacular showing of virgins! Awesome work folks! What more could we ask for than to be overrun by virgins?!?!  So welcome to all you new No-Name-Janes-&-Johns.  I hope you were slightly intimidated, mostly entertained and properly tipsy by the end of your first hash with CH3.

Clearly the newly named Chauca-Deez-Nutz (WTF????) and Baby Maker needed remedial lessons on getting (a properly marked trail) laid.  The horror stories I hear about lead me to believe we have some people suffering still from the trauma of seeing a question mark “?” used as a trail marking.  A little confidence in your laying gents?? Maybe next time, but surely these two need a patient teacher. Also I find it hard to believe, so I’ll tell myself that Hi Ho was lying to me about Chauca Deez Nutz and Baby Maker drawing a little chalk house when they gave up for marking the trail on the return.  Hi Ho must have dreamt that in a nightmare rerun of the trail laying from Hash #20.  Otherwise I’ll have to assume Chauca Deez Nuts (which is….well…its a name I suppose) and Baby Maker have regressed back to their Neanderthal roots and are back to cave paintings with their own feces around town.